This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
