guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize