I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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