even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
