Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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