I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
where are my eyebrows?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
