so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
not ubering you a puppy
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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