New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
