he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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