im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
