I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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