there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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