I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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