had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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