no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
