He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
