She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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