so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
