his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
