I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
