I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
