Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
this just has baby written all over it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize