Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
