Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.

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(206): View more from Washington

No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.

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(562): View more from California

I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard

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(914): View more from New York

Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way

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