Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you didnt know i had herpes?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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