C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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