and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
love makes seman taste better
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
