i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
