dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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