I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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