its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
