Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
40s are totally the cure
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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