I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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