next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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