i think my mom watched the whole time
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
