I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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