It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
