That's when you crack a 10am beer
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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