Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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