I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
