i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize