Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
