I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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