God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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