Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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