Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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