I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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