if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize