If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
