i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
nut hugger
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
