so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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