i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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