PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
