If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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