she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
