Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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