I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
