i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
