i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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