Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
