Buhtt sex?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
