Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
