She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
