I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
